Revealing the Source of My Stress

March 31, 2009 at 1:07 pm 26 comments

Now that everything is official I can finally share with you guys what has had me so stressed out.    Before I do though let me just say I know that things could be worse, and they are for a lot of people, but I have a lot of decisions to make that are going to have a large impact on me and Andrew.

Apparently the company I work for isn’t doing so well right now, (who is though really?)  We had another big round of lay offs this morning and although I wasn’t one of them it was so hard sitting around all morning listening to people crying, and saying good bye to people I’ve worked with for over 3 years now.  The people who had been there the longest were unfortunately the people laid off this morning, it was a very rough time at work.  After the layoffs were complete we were called into a company wide meeting, where we were told that we were on a hiring freeze, and also there would be no raises this year.  But then the part that had me worried the most was announced.  They are cutting our hours, I will only be working Monday through Thursday, and each Friday I will have off for the next 6 months.  They are allowing us to use vacation days for 2 of those Fridays a month, but I don’t have a lot of vacations days, and it will unfortunately not last me until the end of 6 months. 

I know how lucky I am that I still have a job, I know that I could have been one of the many of people laid off this morning, but now with the 4 days off a month I’m losing more money then my rent.  I don’t know what’s going to happen yet but I’ve lived in this apartment for almost 2 years now, our lease is up June 1st, and I have to make a decision on whether I can stay here and live tightly money wise for the next 6 months, or if I have to move back home.  Again I know that I’m lucky to have that option, I don’t have a family to support and I can always pack it up and go back to my parents.  But even though it’s not my fault I just feel like a huge failure, that I really can’t make it on my own and have to run back to mom and dad for help.

I have also lived with Andrew for 1 out of the 2 years I’ve been here, and I just can’t imagine not living with him anymore, he’s my best friend and I know we’ll still be together but not living together seems so weird now.  I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure everything out but I don’t know what to do, I love my family but living on my own for 2 years has been great.   A lot of my stress has come from trying to figure out what to do about the living situation, can we continue living together in one of our parent’s houses or are we going to have to move separately?  

The bright side is I will now have long weekends for the whole summer, but when you’re losing 20% of your income a month it’s hard to think of that as a plus.  I’d so much rather work a 5 day week then have to deal with this.

After the meeting we were all told we could leave at 12 since obviously no one was going to be very productive.  My eats today were completely boring.  As you can imagine between being upset to see co-workers leaving, and worrying about everything I haven’t been very hungry. 

For breakfast I had Chobani and granola.

Picture 002

When I was about 1/2 way done with this I found out someone I did not expect to be leaving was laid off, I got really upset and threw most of the rest out.

After coming home and talking to my mom and my friend, michelle on the phone I mixed up a smoothie, I knew I needed to eat but wasn’t hungry so I figured that was an easy thing to have.  I enjoyed this out in the sunshine on my deck while on the phone with my mom.

Picture 006

Picture 007

This smoothie contained:

  • spinach
  • POM juice
  • blueberries
  • pineapples
  • 1 scoop protein powder
  • pb
  • and skim milk

So that’s it for now, I’ll be back tonight with my dinner post, I’m about to head out the door to go to my parents house to talk to my mom about everything, and hopefully get to the gym.  I hope you are all having a great day!!  Sorry for such a depressing post, I’m sure once I have everything figured out I’ll be back to posting like normal!


Entry filed under: breakfast, lunch. Tags: , , .

This Too Shall Pass… Thank You!

26 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Rose  |  March 31, 2009 at 1:18 pm

    Oh goodness. I can imagine how stressful that situation can be. The good news is that you still have the job (like you said).

    Whenever things seem rough with the economy, I just look to the past and the future. The past has seen it’s share of troubles – ups and downs and back up again. We are in that cycle, and it’s going to have to eventually go up again. I also have faith in our pres.

  • 2. Vani  |  March 31, 2009 at 1:20 pm

    Oh Danielle! Sounds like we’ve both had a stressful week so far. I’m glad you have the support of your family, but understand your reservations about moving back home and away from Andrew. Are you looking for other part-time jobs? Even something like babysitting once a week could probably bring you back to where you were financially . . . anyway, I’m sure you’re considering all options and just know that you have all our support!

  • 3. Sarah  |  March 31, 2009 at 1:26 pm


    I will be thinking of you. You have such a positive outlook on this. Anytime you need to vent please do!


  • 4. Erin  |  March 31, 2009 at 2:27 pm

    Ugh what a day…. I feel for you a lot! I was on my own last year and because of money I ended up moving back home from CO to NJ:-( The plus side was that it’s given me breathing room to weight my priorities and decisions in a comfortable atmosphere….I’m still looking for a FT job after months and months!!!

    If you’re genuinely happy at your company then I’d say keep the job and maybe like others said, get a once a week random job like at a cafe or retail store.

    I know the feeling though of feeling unsuccessful because of work, but in all honesty I would’ve been more unhappy living paycheck to paycheck than moving home…. Life gives you these obstacles to make you stronger and someday you’ll consider them a blessing in disguise….trust me!!!!!!!! Hope this helps!

  • 5. dailygoods  |  March 31, 2009 at 2:45 pm

    im sorry for all of this girl! i know that things will work itself out and everything will be okay. I know this must be tough for you, and im proud of you for talking about it with us. we’re all here for you.

  • 6. brandi  |  March 31, 2009 at 3:10 pm

    i’ll be thinking of you Danielle! It is hard to look on the bright side, but I am happy that you do still have a job – I know it might be rough and scary for a while, but it is great that you have options (like moving home if you need to). Just take it one day at a time.

  • 7. ellie  |  March 31, 2009 at 3:11 pm

    I’m so sorry Danielle. I had to come back to the UK last year after being unable to find full-time work and it was impossible for me to live in NY without a decent steady income so I can really empathise. I don’t know what else to say except that I really feel for you and hope something works out…

  • 8. shelby  |  March 31, 2009 at 3:14 pm

    Your in my thoughts hun, I hope things work out the way you want them too.

  • 9. melissa  |  March 31, 2009 at 3:44 pm

    hang in there. Things may turn around. At my last company we had to take manadory unpaid days off, but eventually things got better and they reimbursed us for that time.

  • 10. ksgoodeats  |  March 31, 2009 at 4:33 pm

    I’m really sorry to hear about this! Try to hang in there as long as you can – it’s a sucky time right now 😦 You’ve got to keep your chin up somehow! I’ll be thinking about you!

  • 11. Mel  |  March 31, 2009 at 5:01 pm

    I’m sorry about the situation that you are in. I totally know how you feel, since I was in a similar situation. You have to have faith everything will work out and that it’ll be okay. It’s rough, but you have your family, Andrew and us for support. Seriously, if you need to talk or vent, please send me an email. It’s always good to talk!

  • 12. Dori  |  March 31, 2009 at 6:15 pm

    Oh that is awful news. I’m sorry — going through the same thing myself at Merrill. Everyone around me is gone, I sit alone in a section and have no idea how much longer I have myself.

    I think something good comes from everything, even if you don’t realize it at the time — that is what I have found in my experience. Hope everything goes well for you..

  • 13. applec  |  March 31, 2009 at 7:19 pm

    It’s so easy to offer advise. Sometimes that advise spurs inspiration and other times we think…”what do they know”. But you’re right. These are tough times but right now you’re lucky.
    Maybe you can make use of that extra day to develop your interests into money making ideas. I’ve been reading your posts and you seem to enjoy writing. You must also like taking pictures. How about cooking or baking?
    Anyway – it’s easy to offer advise but you sound strong and creative. You’ll get through this on top.

  • 14. Errign  |  March 31, 2009 at 8:18 pm

    I recently had to make the decision whether or not to renew my lease as well (I chose not to) so I understand how hard that is. Best of luck!

  • 15. Sharon  |  March 31, 2009 at 8:43 pm

    Keep your chin up, I’m sorry to hear about it. The economy sure is not good. =(

  • 16. Becca A  |  March 31, 2009 at 8:56 pm

    Ohmy hang in there. It is such a horrible time!

  • 17. Jenn (eating bender)  |  March 31, 2009 at 9:17 pm


    I am so, so sorry this is happening to you. It brought tears to my eyes because unfortunately my family is dealing with some similar issues right now. I wish you nothing but the best and hope that all will work out. We are here for you if you ever need to vent.


  • 18. luckytastebuds  |  March 31, 2009 at 10:30 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear about the lay offs. I cannot imagine HOW difficult it must be sit there fearing for your own job but at the same time fearing that your co-workers will get fired. Stay strong and yes you will get thorugh this!

    It’s amazing that even through all this stress you’ve been doing SO well with eating. You’re a great example Danielle! Thanks for being a role model for girls like me! (i.e. emotional eaters) 🙂 You rock!

  • 19. Caroline  |  March 31, 2009 at 11:05 pm

    Sorry to hear about your work situation. I hope thinks make a turn for the better:)

    What a great way to enjoy a smoothie–out in the sunshine!

  • 20. Tina  |  April 1, 2009 at 7:32 am

    I’m so sorry to hear this, I can imagine how horrible it must feel. I myself was hit with quite the blow in the beginning of this year when it was announced that my workplace was cutting down on staff, salaries and workload. So I’m beyond miserable right now and have been feeling very depressed and low for the mostpart of this year so far. It sucks not having a job, not knowing where to go and constantly getting doors shut in your face wherever you go to try to find a job. Luckily I live at home with my mom still but things are rough for her too and I just feel so useless sitting around at home not having anyplace to go or anything to do. I feel for you and I hope things work out – just keep focusing on the positive (at least you have a job, like you said).

  • 21. Amanda (Two Boos Who Eat)  |  April 1, 2009 at 10:10 am

    I know what you are going through. It’s awful to be in that kind of environment! I’ll be thinking good thoughts for you.

    That smoothie you made looks great!

  • 22. Sweet and Fit  |  April 1, 2009 at 12:44 pm

    omgosh – I am so sorry you are going through all this! the worst part is that there isnt really anything you can do about it besides take care of yourself and your mental health right now. Its wonderful that you are so greatfull you still have your job, a lot of people wouldnt
    ‘ be handling it as well as you are. good luck in finding the best solution!

  • 23. katecooks  |  April 1, 2009 at 4:04 pm

    aw, im so sorry to hear about your stressful situation. i know it’s hard not to be overwhelmed at times like this, but if you really want to stay put and not move home, i would definitely try to focus on that and figure out a way to make it happen. stay strong and positive, as much as you can!! we are all here 🙂

  • 24. Victoria  |  April 2, 2009 at 8:36 pm

    Oh, I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope you’re able to find slight peace with everything that is changing. I’m so inspired by your positive attitude, which cannot be easy to maintain.

  • 25. healthy ashley  |  April 3, 2009 at 9:12 am

    I’m so sorry I missed this. I can’t imagine how tense and tough it must have been in the office. Sorry for the stress and worries it is causing you. It’ll all work out!! Have you thought of doing something on the side? It would be a lot of work but it could bring in more income if that’s what you’re concerned about. Good luck.

  • 26. Mariposa  |  April 3, 2009 at 9:52 am

    i still cant believe i missed this announcement.. we have done this in my company. fortunately for me, if we cut down to bare bones in my department, i would be one of the bare bones .. but it sucks having that fear anyway that something might happen. but for now, no one is getting a raise, we have to limit any over time, and definitely NO MORE HIRING.

    i second what ashley said and maybe try and get a part time job in order to bring in some extra money.. just to relieve some money fears. i would say tighten the belt up and whatever extra you bring in to set aside in case something does happen.. im rooting for you!!

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March 2009

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